Be Gracious
Three Attitudes of Greatness - Part 1
Pastor Macky Sabayle
Greatness in the world is very different from the greatness described in the Bible. In the world, in order to be great, you have to have the 3 P’s: Position, Possession, and Power. But in God’s economy, greatness is marked by 3 G’s attitudes: Graciousness, Generosity, and Gratitude. These are the practical attitudes that we will be studying beginning today until Nov. 21. Today, let's start with the first attitude that we must put on so that our lives will become great before people and before God.
Please open your Bibles to Ephesians 4:21-24. This will serve as the foundation of this 3-part series.
21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
So today, I want to start with the first attitude that we must put on so that our lives will become great before people and before God.
Be Gracious.
Being Gracious isn't high on the list of modern values. But it ought to be.
Gracious people are kind and their behavior is characterized by tact and consideration.
A gracious person is a graceful person, someone who works hard to not hurt others’ feelings with clumsy words or thoughtless deeds. To live in grace is to walk lightly and leave the world blessed by your presence.
Being gracious is the attitude you adopt when people are not kind, or not gentle, or are being rude to you. You choose to be gracious.
The dictionary defines gracious as courteous, kind, and pleasant. Also, merciful and compassionate. Practicing courtesy and kindness when you’re wounded is not a default for the human heart.
What this means is that when it’s time to confront, to communicate, to hold someone accountable, to inform them that you have been hurt… you choose to extend courtesy, kindness, and compassion to them. Don’t leave your character at the door in a fit of vengeful rage. Refuse to allow bitterness to spring up within you.
Today it seems that people’s default attitude is “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” But that is not the attitude of a follower, a disciple of Jesus.
Do you want to see what it means to be gracious? Please turn your bibles to Matt. 5:38-39:
I. The Mandate to Be Gracious
“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.
What is Jesus teaching us here? Is Jesus demanding that we Christians become punching bags or victims of abuse? No. His main lesson? Be Gracious. That’s what He is teaching.
Jesus is concerned with how we respond when others wronged us. We’ve all been in a situation where someone has wronged us in some way. Perhaps we’ve had a boss who lives to make our life unbearable, or maybe even a family member who loves to see us squirm. Whether in these situations or others, we’ve all been in situations where someone else has wronged us. And in such situations, how should a Christian respond? Should we retaliate? Should we try to get even?
Jesus said, “No!” Instead, be gracious.
Rather than enabling His disciples to stand on their rights and make their enemies suffer Jesus commands them to be gracious, even to the point of insult or injury. Jesus is not saying you cannot defend yourself, your family or even your country, however, Jesus is saying that we need to be willing to suffer insult because God did not strike us as we deserved when we sinned against Him. Instead, God was gracious to us.
That leads us to our next point.
II. The Motivation to Be Gracious
God’s graciousness to us is our main motivation to be gracious to others.
God has demonstrated ineffable patience and kindness towards us and our sins. We have been made the recipients of God’s grace: purchased by Christ’s life, applied by the Holy Spirit, caused by the unconditional election of God. God has taken tremendous insult from us, yet remained gracious to us.
Are you like your heavenly Father today? Are you patient with those who have wronged you, or are you quick to retaliate against them because of your unwillingness to show them the very grace you’ve claimed to receive?
Our actions will always demonstrate who the Lord of our heart is.
III. The Manner to Be Gracious
Ephesians 4:25-32 provides us with 6 practical ways to demonstrate graciousness.
1. Forge Your Relationships with Trust
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (v.25)
To build friendships with trust, our lips must be gracious, but also truthful and honest. Our words must be trustworthy and faithful. Put away lying, the Lord tells us, and speak the truth to our neighbors. Why? Because we are members of “one another” (Eph. 4:25).
Trust is essential to strong, healthy relationships. Do people know they can trust you? Graciousness begins with a trustworthy spirit—with the willingness to be honest yet kind. Speaking honestly doesn’t mean speaking bluntly or brutally. It takes wisdom to know how to balance honesty and grace. It also takes wisdom to know when and where to trust another person. Growing in grace means growing in our ability to trust and be trusted. Sometimes the Lord helps us know when we can even trust total strangers.
I know we can’t trust everyone in this world, but everyone should be able to trust us. Your spouse should be able to trust you; your neighbors too, and your coworkers. Even total strangers.
2. Free Your Heart from Anger
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (v.26-27)
In this context, Paul wasn’t talking about getting angry at things like traffic or the day’s news. He was talking about getting mad at our “neighbor” (v. 25). When you’re most tempted to lose your temper, it’s often because of someone else, perhaps someone you love very much. Interestingly, the Bible doesn’t tell us never to be angry. Anger is a natural human response, but it must be governed. It’s a dangerous emotion, as volatile as nitroglycerin, that must be controlled. That’s why Paul quoted Psalm 4:4, which says, “Be angry, and do not sin.”
Nothing can do more harm more quickly than anger. One moment of rage can wreck a multitude of lives. One rash word can ruin a friendship. One outburst can begin a life cycle of its own and create problems for decades to come. Graciousness is the biblical antidote for an angry spirit. Someone said, “The more you grow up, the less you blow up.” Maturity involves learning to control how and when we express our anger—and how to replace it with graciousness.
Growing in grace means you’re willing to develop the skill of Ephesians 4:26–27: “‘Don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (NLT).
3. Find Ways to Help
Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. (v.28)
4. Fortify Others with Words
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (v.29)
5. Flush Bitterness Out of Your Spirit
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (v.30-31)
6. Forgive Others as Christ Forgave
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (v.32)
As much as it depends on you, be gracious. After all, isn’t that exactly how you want to be treated?
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/am-i-right/201402/what-it-means-be-gracious
https://crcalexandria.org/be-gracious/
https://www.journeyguy.com/be-gracious/